


so you came like a missile

by ravn (orphan_account)



Series: VOLΛTILE TIMES [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bigbang drabble collections, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 12:06:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1778485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/ravn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a hell of a way to fall in love for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so you came like a missile

This isn’t how Levi thought he’d fall in love for the first time.

Lying in bed at night and staring at the walls, waiting for the sleep that won’t come until much later. The empty space next to him bothers him more than he’d like to admit. It’s on nights like this, when he’s alone with his thoughts, that he has trouble falling asleep.

(It’s on a night just like this one, many years ago, that he found his way into Erwin’s room, into Erwin’s bed and under Erwin’s skin. Because Erwin had broken past his defences already and it was only fair that Levi paid him in kind.

And it’s on a night just like this one that he let Eren in – let him worm his way into their bed and into their lives and curl up between them like he’d always belonged there.)

He doesn’t regret it, even if he knows Eren is young and full of dreams and Erwin has given up too much of himself already to have anything left to give them. He doesn’t regret it because selflessness is a luxury well beyond his means – well beyond _anyone’s_ means in this world – and he will take as much as he can for as long as he can.

It’s what he tells himself when he pushes Eren down on the bed and kisses him breathless. It’s what he tells himself when he lets Erwin bend him over the desk in his office and fuck him stupid, or when he watches Eren thread his fingers through Erwin’s hair and thrust into his mouth with reckless abandon:

Take what you can. Give nothing back. It’s what they all do.

(Ah, but what about the moments _after_ they’re spent and sated, when they’ve caught their breath and there’s nothing keeping them from getting up and leaving? What about the way Eren presses up against him _then_ , all warm skin and bony limbs, and sighs into the crook of his neck? Or the way Erwin smiles at them and presses a kiss to Eren’s temple; or the way Levi’s fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between Erwin’s?)

It’s a hell of a way to fall in love for the first time.

There’s no other word for it – for the way Levi’s heart stutters in his chest then, each heartbeat like a clap of thunder in his ears. It’s equal parts terrifying and exhilarating; it’s flying and falling at the same time and it hurts even when it feels good, and somewhere in the back of Levi’s mind, the part of him that’s all animal instinct and self-preservation screams and thrashes against it, because if it hurts _now_ when it’s good, it will be _agony_ when one of them will inevitably die.

(But the thing is, everybody dies. It’s the only certainty in this world. He doesn’t know what the future holds for them and he won’t lose sleep thinking about it. The present is all he needs.)


End file.
